Will you hold my hand when I go? [She doesn't mean to be cryptic]

Death is a horrible thing to deal with for anyone - regardless of age, cause, or relationship. It hurts everyone. The domino effect. It just causes excessive pain and loneliness. Ironically, I don't fear my own death. Not that I'm looking forward to it, I've just learned how to stand my ground and face it.

I don't fear the coming of my own demise, but if someone I held close to my heart passed away, my world would be broken. Shattered in two.

Sometimes, I'll think about loosing someone important to me, in order to get myself ready. Just in case the time does come when I need to 'let go.' Ninety percent of the times I end up in tears, and that task is not easily accomplished.

Think of how my world would turn upside down, and inside out if I heard someone close to me almost died. Think of how my life would quickly spiral downward if I were to realize not one, but two of my loved ones could (in theory) die. Now think how I would react if both deaths were both caused by the same poison.

Can't hear my heart stop, can't count the lack of breaths.

I am a strong person.

I do not fear the cold hands of death.

I do not lean on other people for support.

I stand upon my own ground.

I am a fragile being.

I am a person who fears loss and loneliness.

I crumble when my loved ones leave.
I fall to my knee's and weep.

I am an intelligent human.

I follow through with my plans.

I generate hope and prosperity for others.

I'll learn to stand again...-

-...but not by myself.