Hidden Messages; Secret Words; Musical Melody

Eternity
Simplicity
Spoken
Enlightenment
Narcotic
Together
Isolation
Apart
Life.



"I'll try; try not to lose you."
-A7X



Freedom
Eternal
Emergency
Liable
Initiative
Numb
Ghastly
Superior.




"You do your best to show me love - but you don't know what love is."
-Paramore




Diagnosed
Irreplaceable
Mortal
Innocence
Nourish
Intimate
Secluded
Hope
Intangible
Naked
Go.





"Emotion, Feeling, Can't stop spinning, Just keep breathing; say you need me."
-Automatic Loveletter

White as Snow

Weddings are pretty standard in a discussion.

Females dream of their special day since they saw that white dress in the window.

Males are a little apprehensive; but deep down they want to settle down with someone too.

My love life is a roller coaster; never ending.

I'm finding that, I sacrifice myself for others, but I'm rarely rewarded.

The boy I like, never seems to like me back - sometimes I wonder if I'll ever get to try on that gown.

Since I was a little girl I've been imagining my wedding. A perfect day in either late April or early May. My husband will love me just as much as I love him; I'll finally be able to say 'I do.' I'd finally find true happiness and glee.

Is it too hard to ask for one day of fairy tale romance?
One day where people take notice of me, and the person I choose to spend my life with?
Is it wrong to want the attention and praise you never really received as a child?

I want to hear women saying;
'She's so beautiful!'
I want to hear the men's congratulations;
'They're perfect for each other!'

I tend to fall for the boys that never want to settle down.

The boys who don't think marriage is even an option.

And now I'm starting to wonder if I'll ever be fortunate enough to hear the chorus of 'Chapel of Love'

My final thougts.

What exactly, is happening?
Clearly I've been infatuated with my 'fairy tale' life for far too long.

I'm starting to think their was a meeting of some sort - and I just wasn't given an invitation.

I wonder if my presence is requested.
I wonder if I'm missed.

What did I do? - I can only assume.
I tried to organize, I tried to plan.

But how does one miss a sign planted directly in front of them.
By doing exactly what their supposed to be doing - living.

I promised myself this was the end.
"Are you finished with me?"
"Yes."

I told myself, this was the last time.
The.Last.Time.

Oblivious you, sensitive me.
You never noticed, you never cared.
I did everything in my power to care for you.

"You know, I liked you for the longest time. But I finally realized you'd never like me back. I don't want to wait my entire life for someone who can't...-"

They say 'love' is a big word - that the majority of people don't understand what it means.

But I do - I felt it.

Seven years.
For seven years I did everything I could possibly do.
I gave my heart to you, I was yours.
Anything you wanted, anything you needed.
I tried to provide, I would have provided.
You never sought me out
I just wanted you to be safe, I put your happiness above all else.
You were always number one on my priority list...

I've been through it.

Seen all aspects.

Given myself - mind, body and spirit
Devoted myself to one person - to one cause.

Quite frankly, you were the air that filled my lungs.

I know that you could never - though I wish you would have tried.
"-...love me back."

And this is my way of clearing my conscious.

This is my way, of coping.

In with the new, out with the old.

This is my last piece to be written about you.
I'm done, finished.

You'll realize one day - "she's famous; he wants to die"

"You know, there are a lot of things I want from you....and it sounds like there are a lot of things you want from me. Trouble is, you can't have me."

My Personal Moon Sign

Your Moon is in Virgo

You are very sensitive, cautious, and shy about showing others your feelings. Though you may love and care for someone a great deal, you rarely express those feelings openly and freely. Very often your love for someone will be expressed by trying to help them, doing something tangible to benefit them, or serving them in some way.

It is also difficult for you to receive warmth, affection, or appreciation, for you often feel that you don't really deserve it or that "they don't really mean it". You can therefore seem rather cool and aloof, much more so than you feel.

A deeply ingrained critical attitude often makes you difficult to live with. You need to learn to be gentler and less of a perfectionist with others and with yourself.

Astrology, usually happens to be hauntingly accurate for myself.

In the jungle, the mighty jungle.

I enjoy watching girls when they become catty.
The whole 'back off he's my territory' is quite exhilarating.
With males it's the thrill of the chase - women just enjoy gauging each others eyes out. (Thus guaranteeing the loser never look at the others property again.)
Isn't that just phenomenal?
They say men get protective - and to a certain degree they do - but women are the ones that do all defending.

Oh how I enjoy the pettiness.
I enjoy the plots they create to steal boyfriends.
I love watching them break hearts.

But most of all, I love the sound they make when another (lesser, preferable weaker) female breaks their neck.

You need him?

My inspiration is gone
Flown through the window
The books I've read
Never match the answers I seek.

Imagine me here
Sitting, Waiting.

Time is said to heal all wounds
...but it scars still haunt us.
Your smile still remains
My sanity disintegrates

I wish to construct walls
Create a maze in which I'll be forever lost.
I promised you eternity
You never acknowledged the deal.

My heart was sent to drown in a river
Grasping, Reaching to be salvaged.

We constantly chase the clocks
Only to be cheated by life.

What more is there to say
All love stores end in tragedy.
A broken heart.
A swalloed promise;
An apology placed upon dying lips.

~

"And the boy cried, cried, cried, for the girl in his arms, as she spoke of a love that died, died, died."

Him, Her, and She.

Oh does she ever love him.
Love, Love, Love, Love.

Why don't you paint it on the wall?
Wear your heart on your sleeve, scream it to the heavens.

Oh does he see her.
Stare, Stare, Stare, Stare.

Why?
It's simple; She's a star.

Oh does she drive her to the point of insanity.
Drink, Drink, Drink, Drink.

She can't take it anymore,
It'll set her world on fire.

Oh does he notice her.
Talk, Talk, Talk, Talk.

She's in his head.
His perfect disaster.

She's jealous of her for having him.
He knows them both.

She questions her position with him because of her.

He's put himself into a situation.
Deadly, Deadly, Deadly, Deadly

Who will he choose?