Well, clearly, I'm an idiot.
Over the past year, I've written
6 blogs, 3 letters, and an entire 160 page journal (including poems, diary entries, and inner-confessions)
Over 300 songs have reminded me of you.
365 prayers made in your name.
500 pieces of advice given to you.
3 hours of my day dedicated to you.
300 minutes waiting for you to start communication.
20 minutes each before i go to bed to reflect.
I feel in the same trap again;
Don't lie,
No, No, No, No
Don't lie.
Your my day-dream, please don't remember my face.
I don't want to keep giving you chances and in return a broken heart.
Do you get it? No of course not.
I'm tired of trying to catch you.
So tired....
I want to read you that book.
Mail you those letters.
Email you the blogs.
Forward you the songs.
Teach you faith.
Make you understand longing.
Let you deal with insomnia and heart-ache.
I'm not mad;
I have no anger left.
No strength to fight.
I can't hold onto lies - they fall apart.
I'm tired of crumbling beneath you.
I'm tired of trying to help myself.
I'm tired of trying to help you.
Bad things happen to good people;
You deserve someone fantastic
However, you will never come close to deserving me.
I can offer you so much more than you could ever share with me.
So I'll burn down, down the memories.
You were my desire - Thought we couldn't lose it.
(We've lost it)
Hopeless, Clueless, Famous.
We're a drama.
One man's trash is anothers treasure.
You missing out; not me.
You said it yourself; I'm cute.
Say what you need to say. Stop holding it in.
Every last memory.
Life is meant to be lived.
I've learned from experience how to pick myself up.
This won't even hurt
Not even a scratch.
Never said you loved me;
Never said you had to try.
So I'll wear you sweater.
And give it back to you, covered in my sent.
When you wear it think of me;
and what will never be.
And I'll tell you the truth:
I loved you. For 5 years.
I was dedicated - you were my everything.
I've dealt with the pain - it seemed like it would have never end.
It probably shouldn't have ended up this way.
Were we meant to be?
Only time will tell.
So I'll wear your sweater.
And give it back to you, covered in my sent.
When you wear it think of me;
and what will never be.
I keep giving you chances
You keep breaking my heart.
